(no subject)

I've been told I need to update more often. I haven't much to say, other than I'm feeling lonely and a little hurt by a friend. Jeff was supposed to help him do something about a week and a half ago, but he refused to get up and help, so our friend was left to do it all by himself (it was tech work, or I would have helped him myself... I even offered, but I don't know how, so he logically said thanks but no). Well this friend was very angry at Jeff when Jeff finally got out of bed three hours later and offered his help with the last of what needed to be done. Said friend said no, if you couldn't help before, don't bother now. He did it all himself. Jeff lost out on helping a friend and the $200 the friend was going to pay him, which we desperately need right now before we get evicted or our electricity turned off. But Jeff made this friend mad. And now he won't return my calls or answer my emails, and he stood me up for an evening we'd had planned for about a week... which I said we could just exclude Jeff from if he was still mad, but he stood me up. I know he's alive and well because I've talked to his roommates. I also know he's getting my messages. So he's just not talking to us.

And I'm a little hurt by this because I didn't do anything wrong that I know of. I even asked what I did that is making him not speak to me, but he won't answer. I apologized for anything I might have done, but he won't answer. I can understand being angry at Jeff, cutting him out for awhile, but what did I do? The only thing I can figure is that he never really wanted to be my friend, but was under the mistaken impression that if he was going to be Jeff's friend he had to be mine as well, since Jeff and I are married. The thing is, that's just not true. If he wanted to be Jeff's friend but have nothing to do with me, that's fine. Jeff is allowed to have friends outside of the two of us. Not all his friends have to like me, and in fact not all of them do. And I'm okay with that. I have all of you, and I count you (well, those of you that aren't mutual friends in real life as well) as my friends outside of Jeff, and he's okay with that. He's glad I have all of you to talk to, because though he doesn't know you, he knows you make me happy and he's okay with anybody and anything that makes me happy. So if our friend was under the impression that he had to be my friend to be Jeff's friend, well, he was wrong. But I really don't think that's it. I just think he's being stubborn. Maybe he'll call in a weeks time and ladeda everything is fine again. Maybe he won't ever call again. I don't know what he'll do. I just wish I know what I did to make him cut me out of the picture as well as Jeff.

So aside from feeling a little lonely and hurt by this friend, I've been busy reading and taking care of Alex. No luck on the job front for me outside of the home, but two leads on in-home daycare work, which is good. One I'll find out about soon, is full time, two children Alex's age and younger. One is part-time, not more than two or three hours three days a week, but it doesn't start until August. Jeff has two leads for work which he will hopefully hear about Tuesday. He needs to start soon or we'll be in big trouble and I REALLY don't want to move back in with my parents. If I have to do that, I don't know where Jeff will go because he can't move back in with them. I just don't want this whole drama to play itself out once again. If I get those kids, we'll be okay. Here's to hoping.

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