(no subject)
Jan. 15th, 2006 08:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
queenrileyHaven't updated since that cryptic weird post... sorry.
I felt much better in the morning. Nights are hard on me. During the day I have the kids to keep me occupied, but Sam sleeps through the night now... from about 8pm to 7am with one feeding in there usually around 3 or 4am. So after 8 it's me and I get lonely. It's at night that I really miss Jeff, that I question having left before he could join us, that I let my thoughts get the better of me. I still sit here at 9pm and think "He'll be home in half an hour, I better get some dinner made." before I realize he won't be home in half an hour and I already made and ate dinner hours ago. I'm okay now though, thanks for the thoughts.
It also doesn't help that I look at my son and see Jeff staring back at me. Sam looks a fair bit like I did as a baby, but I see so much of his dad in him... especially in the eyes. Sam's are more blue than Jeff's, but he's there.
Ever look at the sky as it's about to storm? When it goes from that brilliant blue to the stormy grey with the clouds rolling in, just before it lets loose a nice steady rain? That's the colour of Sam's eyes. That's the colour it looks like they'll stay too.
I have a new obsession... Stargate: Atlantis. I love it. I more than love it. I worship it. I'm also incredibly upset that I don't live elsewhere because the rest of the world (or at least Canada and the UK) is a whole 4 or 5 episodes ahead of the US. And Jeff has those episodes on his computer. I do not and have no access to Jeff's computer and therefor must watch in tandem with the US. So grrrr for the US being behind the rest of the world. Also wishing I had $45 to spare because then I could get season 1 on DVD even though I already have it on my computer... but the DVD has actor commentary! And I can watch it somewhere that isn't on the computer! And yes, I'm special, thanks for noticing.
I need chocolate. Really good chocolate. British chocolate. Cadbury's preferably. No little British shops around here to supply me. Damn.
I felt much better in the morning. Nights are hard on me. During the day I have the kids to keep me occupied, but Sam sleeps through the night now... from about 8pm to 7am with one feeding in there usually around 3 or 4am. So after 8 it's me and I get lonely. It's at night that I really miss Jeff, that I question having left before he could join us, that I let my thoughts get the better of me. I still sit here at 9pm and think "He'll be home in half an hour, I better get some dinner made." before I realize he won't be home in half an hour and I already made and ate dinner hours ago. I'm okay now though, thanks for the thoughts.
It also doesn't help that I look at my son and see Jeff staring back at me. Sam looks a fair bit like I did as a baby, but I see so much of his dad in him... especially in the eyes. Sam's are more blue than Jeff's, but he's there.
Ever look at the sky as it's about to storm? When it goes from that brilliant blue to the stormy grey with the clouds rolling in, just before it lets loose a nice steady rain? That's the colour of Sam's eyes. That's the colour it looks like they'll stay too.
I have a new obsession... Stargate: Atlantis. I love it. I more than love it. I worship it. I'm also incredibly upset that I don't live elsewhere because the rest of the world (or at least Canada and the UK) is a whole 4 or 5 episodes ahead of the US. And Jeff has those episodes on his computer. I do not and have no access to Jeff's computer and therefor must watch in tandem with the US. So grrrr for the US being behind the rest of the world. Also wishing I had $45 to spare because then I could get season 1 on DVD even though I already have it on my computer... but the DVD has actor commentary! And I can watch it somewhere that isn't on the computer! And yes, I'm special, thanks for noticing.
I need chocolate. Really good chocolate. British chocolate. Cadbury's preferably. No little British shops around here to supply me. Damn.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-16 03:02 am (UTC)Dude, I love you muchly, but you don't have to send me chocolate! I'll find a place around here that sells it. I'll even drive the hour to Greensboro for it, which will be much cheaper than having you ship me some, and not costing you money which is a good thing too. Use that money and go buy yourself some chocolate. MMMMMchocolate.
Any good links for John/Rodney icons? I so need an icon.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-16 03:09 am (UTC)*hugs* And awww, bless you, love. I totally think you should send me your address anyway, though, cause I might have other things which should be sent your way. (Like, ah, the latest SGA episodes on disc, if you can play .avi files. And other such things. :) )
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-16 02:12 pm (UTC)And thanks for the icon link! I'll find something I like, I'm sure. I just adore John/Rodney... and John and Rodney seperately. And Carson... I could listen to him talk for hours... mmmmDr.Beckett.
I feel a little dirty, going all giddy over the men who are a good 10-20 years older than I am and not the few of the cast that are actually my age... oh well.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-16 06:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-16 07:48 pm (UTC)