Flooded cars
Jul. 17th, 2002 12:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
queenrileyJust heard from my dad. Water got inside the engine. His car is totaled. The carshop's recommendation is to go out and get a new car rather than to try to replace the engine. The insurance company is looking over the car and will let my father know their decision... which will hopefully be to pay him something so he can pay off what's left owed on the car and go make a down payment on a new one. If that doesn't work... well... he says he doesn't know what he's going to do. I know what will happen. He will take my mothers car, and my mother will take mine. Jeff and I cannot afford our own vehicle, so we will be left without one, unless my father puts a down payment on some used car or something for me... which I hope he doesn't do. If he does, my mother will give him hell about it. But if he doesn't and Jeff and I dont' have a car, Jeff can't go job hunting, he can't get a job, he can't get to work if he does get a job, and we are screwed.
I feel bad that my father's car is totaled now. I feel bad and a little bit guilty. I know Jeff feels really guilty. He was the one driving, but it's not his fault. There was nothing we could do. The median in the road on our left was a drainage ditch... bad thing to go to in order to get out of high water. We couldn't move over into the right hand lane to get out of traffics way and avoid the water because it was too high in the right hand lane. We couldn't just stop right there in the middle of the road because that would have held up traffic... most of which made it through the water after us (though there were at least 5 other cars that I saw that got stalled out behind us). We had nowhere to go but forward. People were already yelling at us from behind that we weren't going fast enough, that "it's just water, drive through it already assholes" so we did and look what happened. Water got in the engine and the car is totaled. There was no other option. We couldn't stop and wait out the storm at the airport itself because they don't let anybody park, they make you drive out of the airport, and if you need back in to pick up a passenger or something, you have to turn around well outside of the airport and drive back in. I don't see anything else we could have done, other than stop in the middle of the road and back up all traffic behind us. So I do feel a little guilty, and Jeff feels a lot guilty because he was driving.
My father understands. My father doesn't blame Jeff. He doesn't blame me. He doesn't blame anybody... just says it's one of those bad things that happen and it was out of our control and he's okay with that. My mother, on the other hand, was extrememly angry when we called to tell her the car stalled out in the water. She was mad when we got home. She was mad that she had to pay the tow truck. She was mad that Jeff didn't drive correctly through the high water (she seems to think if she'd been driving, she would have gotten through). She was mad that we didn't wait it out at the airport terminal where we dropped my friend off (she doesn't understand that they wouldn't let us, even if we had tried). When she finds out the car was totaled, that my dad needs a new one, she's going to be mad and she's going to blame Jeff, and once again, I will be stuck in the middle of it not knowing where to turn. I don't think it's right that she blames Jeff for this, but that's the way my mother is. If something goes wrong, somebody must be to blame, and in her mind, it's usually Jeff that is at fault. So because he was driving (which she gave him permission to do because I wasn't comfortable driving in that weather) and went through the water, he's to blame for the damage done to the car. So now she's going to yell and scream about him and how irresponsible he is and how it's all his fault. And I can't stand up to my mother. And I can't let her say the things to Jeff that I know she will say. And I will let her say the things to me about Jeff that I know she will say. So I'm stuck. I stand up for him when I can, but I am so terribly afraid of making my mother mad at me (especially when she's already mad) that I wilt in fear when I should be standing my ground. I can't take the yelling and the fighting and the tension and all the bad that goes with it. I can't take what my mother will throw out at me, so I don't say anything to make her even remotely upset. I don't contradict her. I don't correct her when she's wrong. I let her talk bad about people and say things I know to be untrue because if I correct her, if I stand up and leave so I don't have to hear it, or if I ask her to please not say those things to me, she gets angry and makes my life hell for awhile until she gets over it. I do what she says, even if I know it won't work or it's wrong or it's just plain stupid. I do it so she won't get mad. But this... this time it won't be right. I can't sit and let her ream out Jeff when it isn't his fault. But I can't stand up and tell her that she's wrong to do so, that he is not to blame, that nobody is to blame. And I hate that I'm stuck in this position. I cringe to see her, to observe her actions, not from the view of her child, but from the view of a woman in a long term relationship, and it sickens me to know I'm just like her. What used to be a compliment "Oh you are just like your mother!" now is an insult to me. And she'd kill me if she read this. So I hope she doesn't know this thing exists. I love my mother. She is a good mother. She loves me and has always looked after me and given me the best in the world. But I fear her, and I don't know how good or healthy that is. And I hope with everything I have that when Alex is an adult and has her own family, that she won't be afraid to speak her mind to me like I am to my mother. And all this mess because of a stupid car in a bad situation.
My dad is more laid back. He's a calmer person. He deals with stress better than the rest of us. He seems to understand Jeff better than my mother does. He's not happy that Jeff hasn't found work yet, but he's happy that Jeff is at least looking, and he's trying his best to help Jeff out rather than hinder him. He's taken Jeff's resume to a few tech places that he knows are hiring. He takes him out for a beer sometimes. Jeff does things to upset my father sometimes, but he deals with it and moves on and doesn't make life hard for Jeff or me. My dad is upset that he has to get a new car, but he's not mad at us about it and he's made that clear.
I feel bad that my father's car is totaled now. I feel bad and a little bit guilty. I know Jeff feels really guilty. He was the one driving, but it's not his fault. There was nothing we could do. The median in the road on our left was a drainage ditch... bad thing to go to in order to get out of high water. We couldn't move over into the right hand lane to get out of traffics way and avoid the water because it was too high in the right hand lane. We couldn't just stop right there in the middle of the road because that would have held up traffic... most of which made it through the water after us (though there were at least 5 other cars that I saw that got stalled out behind us). We had nowhere to go but forward. People were already yelling at us from behind that we weren't going fast enough, that "it's just water, drive through it already assholes" so we did and look what happened. Water got in the engine and the car is totaled. There was no other option. We couldn't stop and wait out the storm at the airport itself because they don't let anybody park, they make you drive out of the airport, and if you need back in to pick up a passenger or something, you have to turn around well outside of the airport and drive back in. I don't see anything else we could have done, other than stop in the middle of the road and back up all traffic behind us. So I do feel a little guilty, and Jeff feels a lot guilty because he was driving.
My father understands. My father doesn't blame Jeff. He doesn't blame me. He doesn't blame anybody... just says it's one of those bad things that happen and it was out of our control and he's okay with that. My mother, on the other hand, was extrememly angry when we called to tell her the car stalled out in the water. She was mad when we got home. She was mad that she had to pay the tow truck. She was mad that Jeff didn't drive correctly through the high water (she seems to think if she'd been driving, she would have gotten through). She was mad that we didn't wait it out at the airport terminal where we dropped my friend off (she doesn't understand that they wouldn't let us, even if we had tried). When she finds out the car was totaled, that my dad needs a new one, she's going to be mad and she's going to blame Jeff, and once again, I will be stuck in the middle of it not knowing where to turn. I don't think it's right that she blames Jeff for this, but that's the way my mother is. If something goes wrong, somebody must be to blame, and in her mind, it's usually Jeff that is at fault. So because he was driving (which she gave him permission to do because I wasn't comfortable driving in that weather) and went through the water, he's to blame for the damage done to the car. So now she's going to yell and scream about him and how irresponsible he is and how it's all his fault. And I can't stand up to my mother. And I can't let her say the things to Jeff that I know she will say. And I will let her say the things to me about Jeff that I know she will say. So I'm stuck. I stand up for him when I can, but I am so terribly afraid of making my mother mad at me (especially when she's already mad) that I wilt in fear when I should be standing my ground. I can't take the yelling and the fighting and the tension and all the bad that goes with it. I can't take what my mother will throw out at me, so I don't say anything to make her even remotely upset. I don't contradict her. I don't correct her when she's wrong. I let her talk bad about people and say things I know to be untrue because if I correct her, if I stand up and leave so I don't have to hear it, or if I ask her to please not say those things to me, she gets angry and makes my life hell for awhile until she gets over it. I do what she says, even if I know it won't work or it's wrong or it's just plain stupid. I do it so she won't get mad. But this... this time it won't be right. I can't sit and let her ream out Jeff when it isn't his fault. But I can't stand up and tell her that she's wrong to do so, that he is not to blame, that nobody is to blame. And I hate that I'm stuck in this position. I cringe to see her, to observe her actions, not from the view of her child, but from the view of a woman in a long term relationship, and it sickens me to know I'm just like her. What used to be a compliment "Oh you are just like your mother!" now is an insult to me. And she'd kill me if she read this. So I hope she doesn't know this thing exists. I love my mother. She is a good mother. She loves me and has always looked after me and given me the best in the world. But I fear her, and I don't know how good or healthy that is. And I hope with everything I have that when Alex is an adult and has her own family, that she won't be afraid to speak her mind to me like I am to my mother. And all this mess because of a stupid car in a bad situation.
My dad is more laid back. He's a calmer person. He deals with stress better than the rest of us. He seems to understand Jeff better than my mother does. He's not happy that Jeff hasn't found work yet, but he's happy that Jeff is at least looking, and he's trying his best to help Jeff out rather than hinder him. He's taken Jeff's resume to a few tech places that he knows are hiring. He takes him out for a beer sometimes. Jeff does things to upset my father sometimes, but he deals with it and moves on and doesn't make life hard for Jeff or me. My dad is upset that he has to get a new car, but he's not mad at us about it and he's made that clear.
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(no subject)
Date: 2002-07-17 11:11 am (UTC)It's too bad that you guys probably won't have a car--I don't know where you live but is there a subway or a bus or anything that can get you around?
(no subject)
Date: 2002-07-19 09:30 am (UTC)We might end up with a vehicle after all. We're just waiting on the insurance company to tell my dad what he's getting back, or if they'll fix it. I'll update more on that when I hear more about it. :)
If we don't get a vehicle... there is a bus station about 10 miles away that goes to Houston, but nothing runs around my town. We don't have subways, as underground structures don't do well in Houston. They grow toxic molds and they pop out of the ground pretty easily. The city was built on a swamp. We don't have trains or very good public transport systems... so if you want to get around my town you need to have a car. If you need to get around Houston, you can take the bus, but we are far enough outside of Houston that it doesn't work well.