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[queenriley]

First, a Myers-Briggs

INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

I keep getting INFJ. I often think I'm more an INFP, but I keep getting J, to a staggering degree actually. Like this one... I'm roughly 62% J and 38% P. That's how it often comes out. Guess I can't make the numbers lie. Oh well.


Now what I really wanted to post about. Life is biting me in the arse. I'm having a very bad day... very very bad. Nothing much to say about it other than it involves money (when does it not), spending time with my husband (when does that ever happen?), in-laws who won't leave us alone about never getting to see my husband (ie tech support, free manual labor, and Alex), and my super-controlling mother... she's the main reason right now. I don't want to get into it. It makes me cry.

Hell. Life sucks. I want to go home. HOME. I miss home. I'm even contemplating spending my inheritance money on a years worth of schooling to become a nurse. Once I become a nurse, I can go anywhere in the US that needs nurses. Which means I can go HOME. H-O-M-E home. Even if I can't get something in Richmond, I could go to Williamsburg... it's close enough. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME and damn anybody who stands in my way. I'll leave it all behind. I'll just go. And finally rest my soul at ease. Finally be comfortable and happy right down to my very core (something I haven't felt in damn near 11 years). Because I'll be HOME.

HOME

Comments

[hildigunnur.livejournal.com]

I get the P to a staggering degree ...

*hugs* about your not so good life right now and *hugs* about your desire to return home. It can't be nice feeling like you don't belong to the place you live in :(

[queenriley.livejournal.com]

Life will get better. It's been much much worse before, so it's not like I'm in the pits of despair or anything. It just kind of sucks right now.

As for feeling like I don't belong, well, after nearly 11 years here, I do sort of belong (sort of, at least nobody calls me an outsider anymore) and inside I feel like I sort of belong. But it's not that deep down feeling of home. If Iceland is that to you, do you know the feeling you get when you are away from it for any period of time? The feeling you then get when you return? I'm feeling the first and desperately lacking the second. But I've gotten rather used to it, actually. I'm not sure I even remember what it's like to feel truely at home in the place I happen to live. I've now been living in Texas the same amount of time I lived before moving to Texas. So I'm not sure, even if I move home, I'll ever really feel home again.

[hildigunnur.livejournal.com]

I see what you mean.

I've never been longer then 3 weeks at a time abroad (and I was nine) but when I was 13 and 14, I spent 5 weeks each summer in a little village in the north of Iceland and I was miserable. I put on weight like I was paid for it and I got really happy if I could get a ride with someone to a neighbouring town (just for change of scenery).

Then there's the question of adaption. I think one can both adapt into living in a place but also get adapted to feeling homesick if you know what I mean.

[sarka.livejournal.com]

I find this a really interesting question. See, I lived in Prague from end of January until June, and I didn't get home until the beginning of August. That's a full six months.

I can tell you that I didn't miss Iceland in the least while I was in Prague. I just... and I knew that before I went there... I just fitted right in. I didn't need to adapt to Prague, it was something I somehow already had.

When I went on the trip, however, I got really homesick. I'm still not entirely sure for what home I was homesick. I think both, really, for different reasons. I wanted to go to Iceland because I knew that I would end up there eventually, but I wanted to go back to Prague because, dude! Prague! Because I love it, and it has a special place in my heart. I think that the travelling homesickness had something more to do with the fact that it is very difficult being constantly on the move and having NO constant in your life. It was exhausting.

And then I came home. It surprised me, really, how many little things there were that I'd missed. (Like oxygen, for example.)

Iceland does have a special place in my heart, but I would count Prague just as equally as my home. I think that's interesting.

The only disadvantage to Prague is that I miss the people I leave behind in Iceland. If I could move them all to Prague with me and live there, I would :)

[sarka.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry life is being so hard on you. You don't deserve it.

Do you want to be a nurse? Because if you really want to, then I'd say go for it. It'll be good for you.

*hugs*

[queenriley.livejournal.com]

I'd like to be a nurse. I'd also like to be a teacher. There are quite a few pros and cons to putting the money to be a nurse.

Life has been harder on me and this is nothing I can't handle, it just tends to make me more homesick and whingy than usual.

Things look a little better this morning, as they always do.

Thanks. :)

[perceval.livejournal.com]

Do you want to IM? You sound like you need to.

Nurse. That would give you something to look forward to. Why not?

Super-controlling mother - I can identify. Totally. That's why I'm in Scotland, even though I love my mum a lot.

See you in Iceland?

you go girl

[project626.livejournal.com]

*snap*
*snap*
*snap*

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

It sounds like the nursing thing is something to look in to, at any rate.

*hugs* I don't know of any useful advice I can give, so I'll just remind you that if you need to, you can vent at me any time. Good luck finding some way to feel a bit better.