(no subject)

[queenriley]

Catherine, in musing on other people's posts, has brought up a topic that has made me ponder. Recognition. It's something we all seek, but do we ever really achieve the recognition we want? Some do. Some don't. Why is it that some people receive it while others are left struggling, achieving perfection or as near as they can, but never recieve it? Hrm... things to think about. Things to work on myself with. Should I be offering others more recognition? Definately. I don't give enough and I ought to. But why don't I? I know I gave up in school some years back because I was tired of trying so hard to make my parent's proud and only getting a "But Anne got an A in science. You can do better than this B." or "You didn't complete this one time. I don't care that you turned it in 8 times and have been working studiously on it every time I see you. It wasn't finished by the deadline. No phone, no television, no friends for a month. Two if this paper isn't finished by the end of one month." Yeah, that gets tiring, so you give up after awhile. The thing is, my teachers certainly gave me some recognition. Sure, I never won any school awards, but my teachers praised me or left notes on my papers about how well written they were or how I really seemed to grasp the concept... or even how they noticed how hard I'd been working on said project. So why is it that some recognition is better than others? Why is it that, despite recieving recognition for something, if it isn't from the people we want it to be from, we ignore it and work harder, seeking it from the people we want to recieve the recognition from? Why is some recognition unattainable and some just not good enough? Something to think about.

Anyway, I took her idea and wrote a list of 6 things I'd like to be recognized for. This is my recognition list. It’s not entirely in jest like Catherine’s, but it’s not meant as something for anybody to strive to be or do. It’s just some things I would like to be recognized as and for, even if some of them are far-fetched, like #1.

1. I want Alex, as a teenager, to look at her friends and say “I have a good mum.”
2. I want to publish a book and have people buy it, people other than my parents, husband, and two dearest friends (cause I know they would even if it was total crap)
3. I want to be in a play and listed in the playbill with a little blurb about me and my acomplishments beside a little picture.
4. I want my husband to look at his friends and say “My wife is cool.” and not just because I did something for him like make him tea or save some dinner for him.
5. I want to NOT be the one to always make “first contact” with my friends. I want to NOT be the one who always calls, always writes, and always sets up the gatherings. I want to be recognized as a friend. And I definately don't want to be called upon ONLY when there is a problem or something is needed of me. I don't mind being the one to help, but it'd be nice if I was contacted because something good happened, y'know?

And this last one is only partially a sense of recognition. It’s an unconscious recognition, but it’d be nice to have.

6. I want somebody sometime to eventually keep a promise they made to me… doesn’t matter who, just so long as somebody does it once.


So that's my list. Not much to be proud of, and not much in there that's a big deal or anything to make me famous. I don't want to be a bestselling author. I'd be perfectly happy with just a few copies of any book I ever get published being bought. I don't want to be a famous movie star hounded by the press and paparazzi, but I would like to be in a play seen by people who paid to see it and where the audience isn't over half full of people related to the actors. All I want is to be a good mum, a good wife, and a good friend. And I want somebody to notice it and let me know that I'm doing a good job. Y'know what I mean? Maybe not. And maybe it isn't anything big. And maybe it doesn't seem important to other people. But it's a pretty big deal to me.

Comments

[awelkin.livejournal.com]

Well, you're doing a good job.

Of course, it means more from the people you're doing a good job for. But what we see from this side seems to be good.

You know, I bet Alex is grateful to you in more ways than she can say.

Catherine

Re:

[queenriley.livejournal.com]

Alex gives me my recognition in her own little ways. She runs up to me with her arms stretched out and yells "HUG!" and she calls for me if she doesn't know where I am. If I leave and come back, she runs away from whomever was watching her and grabs hold of my legs with the biggest smile on her face and the happiest little sigh and "Mumum". For now that's recognition enough for me. But when she's a teenager... well that will be a whole different story. :)